JESUS:
My son, you will have many things to learn which you have not yet fully grasped.
DISCIPLE:
What things, Lord?
JESUS:
You must conform ALL your desires to My good pleasure and stop loving yourself, and earnestly desire that My will be done.
You frequently burn with desires that powerfully impel you to action, but what is the motive behind your actions? Is it My honor or is it your own self-interest? If I be the motive, then you will be satisfied with whatever I decide for you; but if it be your own self-interest, then this is what puts the brake to your progress and slows you down.
2. Therefore, be careful not to rely too heavily on your own desires without first consulting Me. You may later on find that you are sorry and displeased with what once pleased you and what you once thought the better thing to do.
Not every desire that seems good has to be carried not, nor is everything feeling contrary to your desires to be avoided. Even in good desires and endeavors it is sometimes necessary to hold yourself back; otherwise, overeagerness may result in dissipation of energies. At the same time, your lack of self-control may give offense to others and their opposition, in turn, may dishearten you and cause you to give up.
3. You sometimes have to resort to strong measures and manfully go against your sense appetites, disregarding what your flesh wants or does not want, and endeavor to subject it, though unwilling, to the spirit. The flesh has to be chastised and held down until it learns to give obedience in all things, to be satisfied with little, happy with what is simple, and not grumble about any physical discomfort.
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I read this chapter in Thomas a Kempis' book The Imitation of Christ and it really made me examine the motives of my own heart. Is everything I do, say, and act upon really for God's honor and glory, or is it in my own self-interest? Kempis says, "if it be your own self-interest, then this is what puts the brake to your progress and slows you down." This is exactly how I feel sometimes. I feel stunted, stagnant, and spiritually starving. I'm still in the race, but I feel like i'm crawling, dragging myself along the narrow road instead of running with endurance. I believe God will still use and speak to the struggling believer, but I want to be more effective & grow daily in Christ.
It made me think of Jesus' life here on earth. He always consulted His Father before doing anything and selflessly did His Father's will. Consequently, the people around Him were healed & full of hope. You look at His ministry here on earth, and even as He's the Intecessor in heaven, and it's a ministry of building up and breathing life into the broken and dead.
I mean, the title of the book says it all, no? This is the way to imitate Christ. We must examine our heart's desires, but also need to ask the Lord to try to reins of our hearts to put them under His submission.
Lord, we have many things to learn which we have not yet fully grasped. But, give us teachable hearts and a spirit of understanding. Give us the courage and strength to see the truth in ourselves so that we can turn and follow You. It's not in our nature to want the things of God, this is a supernatural working of your Holy Spirit. So, fill us with Your Holy Spirit that we may obey and serve You selflessly.
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